Things I’m Afraid to Tell You: Confessions of an artist
Have any of you noticed that there is a trend among blogs? Everything is very happy, and beautiful, and perfect… I know this is not the intent at all, but sometimes it leaves me feeling inadequate. My house looks nothing like those houses, (even on a good day), I don’t claim to be a fashionista for a reason, and my artwork and diy attempts fall short way too often (Please say not everything in your life is always that perfect… and that I’m not the only one!)
I’ve been having one of those days with my paintings and designs. I normally love designing and can’t wait to start working on a painting! Creativity is so essential to my happiness and I feel so very, very blessed that I get to be an artist and designer day in and day out! It allows me to fulfill my dreams and stay home with my babies and watch them grow up (which is priceless to me.) Some days I think my paintings should be hanging in a museum (dream big, right?), but other days I wonder why I even bothered spending money on oil paints or a crazy nice computer. Today is one of those days. I’m just not having a good day (artistically). Seriously. I have been in a real artistic slump. I can’t paint, I can’t draw, I can’t mix colors, I can’t even envision where the painting is supposed to go.
This is actually more common than I would like to admit (see horrid photos I swore I would never put online). I’m an artist, but sometimes I’m the most un-artistic person I know.
Today, I’m going crazy and I want to cry, but I know eventually, I’ll get back in my groove and I know that pushing through this will make me a better artist and a better designer. There is something about working through that hard place that makes the easy, inspired times feel that much more wonderful. It is good for me to realize that I can do nothing on my own and that I fall short far to often. It brings me to a delicate broken place where I can find strength in myself, support from my loved ones, and most importantly, help, understanding, and inspiration from God.
So here is to creating better work tomorrow!
Blah! Now please go check out my portfolio site, EmilyJeffords.com, before you think I’m pretty much the worst artist on earth.
Btw, if this resonates with you, check out the many other blogs that have all joined together to “get real”, organized by Ez of the beautiful and genuine Creature Comforts. It’s a beautiful, refreshing, and encouraging collection.